okay. 1987

1987.

i was twelve, and spending sometime with my step father's best friend Butler. (that was the guys fucking name so shut it.) he was the hero guy all young men have- cooler than dad, but still not too scary. what i realize now is the guy was a complete coke-head, and was high all the time to think on after all these years. i remember one particular conversation over the film FLASHDANCE, starring the 80's icon- Jennifer Beals. he told me that a woman like her would never exist in real life, because a mixed race women could just pass for white, and would never have to struggle for dough. now as a kid i had a little sass, and told him that he probably had not seen the movie, based on his take on the plot, and its realness. 

for one thing, 

she was financially strapped by any means. she was a union card carrying welder first off, and secondly she worked as a dancer at a nightclub that closely resembled the art version of a strip house. (she never actually take any clothes off on stage though) so she was making a check from that.

point two,

white people are poor sometimes. actually, most times! so the whole struggle thing, realistic. 

third, and most important point- its a movie.

why this particular moment with dear old dummi butler stands out, i'm not quite sure. perhaps it was the first time i realized that none of the men i knew as a kid were very bright, nor were they even remotely clever. i dont really know what his problem with jennifer was, he alway had white girlfriends, and seemed fairly progressive when it concerned race. women like beal's character exist in real life though, i was married to one. a woman who was layered, bi racial, and a dancer. she was not a welder though, i think she may of been afraid of fire actually. 

for the past 6 years ive been following the showtime original show L WORD- its the final season now, and i fucking love the premise, and story arch. i think i may be slightly in love with

Ms. Beals! damn L dookie wont watch with me though. she a snob, and believe the lesbians on the show to be totally fake. wait, she never actually said that, but its my blog, and i can say what i want. she has a huge fucking crush on Danny Masterson for 70's show, and has a pic of him on her blog. damn her and her need for white men with afros.